What a rain? It suddenly started to rain with wind and tunder storm. Nice whether outside.
Lifeline from A-ha:
one time
to know that it’s real
one time
to know how it feels
that’s all
one call
your voice on the phone
one place
a moment alone
that’s all
what do you see, what do you know?
one sign; what do we do?
just follow your lifeline through
what if it hurts, what then?
one sign, what do you say?
don’t throw your lifelines away
one time
just once in my life
yeah one time
to know it can happen twice
one shot
of a clear blue sky
one look
I see no reasons why
we can’t
one chance
to go back to the point where everything starts
one chance
to keep it together when things fall apart
just one sign
to make us believe it’s true
what do you see, where do we go
one sign; how do we grow?
by letting your lifelines show
what if we do, what then?
one sign- how will I know?
don’t let your lifeline go
you’re letting your lifeline go
don’t let your lifeline go
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Monday, May 23, 2005
An Alienated feeling!
Watching Faramarz Asef (an Iranian singer living in LA) interviewed by Alireza Amirghasemi (A showman with network known as Tapesh) kinda reminded me that things will never change in Iran!
According to Faramarz Asef; he used to be a sportsman in track and field. He has Iran national record for triple jump which has not yet been broken after 31 years!!
He explained that when in 1974 he broke the outdoor record for triple jump, he was simply awarded a medal and was left alone. He then received scholarships from two American universities and moved to States to study further, if I am not mistaken, architecture.
He talked about after graduation he worked as a taxi driver and other simple jobs and then starting to sing because of his love for audience. More over, I recalled on this expression that “grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”!
About 2.5 years ago I came back to Iran with so much enthusiastic feelings to use my expertise in this country. I worked hard, I gave lectures to universities to get involved with them and work in biomedical area the area of my passion. At the same time to support myself I started to work as a mechanical engineer with low income.
I wonder that after all these 2 years I see no vivid hope in this system it is totally corrupted and I see no chance to improve since I have no connection and pile of money!
It is surprising that I receive scholarships from foreign universities and companies to study biomedical. They provide all kind of facility for me to live there. I am going to leave this country with such a sorrow at my heart but at the same time happiness.
This country does not deserve to get developed. The current status quote is appropriate for us. Because we still have long way to go when it comes to learning how to interact with each other, providing opportunity, not to mention living in harmony.
According to Faramarz Asef; he used to be a sportsman in track and field. He has Iran national record for triple jump which has not yet been broken after 31 years!!
He explained that when in 1974 he broke the outdoor record for triple jump, he was simply awarded a medal and was left alone. He then received scholarships from two American universities and moved to States to study further, if I am not mistaken, architecture.
He talked about after graduation he worked as a taxi driver and other simple jobs and then starting to sing because of his love for audience. More over, I recalled on this expression that “grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”!
About 2.5 years ago I came back to Iran with so much enthusiastic feelings to use my expertise in this country. I worked hard, I gave lectures to universities to get involved with them and work in biomedical area the area of my passion. At the same time to support myself I started to work as a mechanical engineer with low income.
I wonder that after all these 2 years I see no vivid hope in this system it is totally corrupted and I see no chance to improve since I have no connection and pile of money!
It is surprising that I receive scholarships from foreign universities and companies to study biomedical. They provide all kind of facility for me to live there. I am going to leave this country with such a sorrow at my heart but at the same time happiness.
This country does not deserve to get developed. The current status quote is appropriate for us. Because we still have long way to go when it comes to learning how to interact with each other, providing opportunity, not to mention living in harmony.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Thursday, May 19, 2005
The weather in Tehran in Month of Ordibeheshet
I have traveled through many counties in different continents and spend many times in the cities there. However, I have rarely or perhaps not seen any city that may have a lovely and joyful weather similar to month of Ordibehesht (I.e. equal to March and May) in Tehran.
The freshness, breeze, light rain and light pleasant sun beam is indescribable.
Ordi-Beheshet is really a heavenly (Behesht=heaven in Persian) month with heavenly weather.
I highly recommend that whomever wants to pay a visit to Tehran must choose this time of the year.
Although the song does not entirely reflect the weather in Ordibehesht, but I for some reason I recalled this song from English group called crowded House . The song is known as: Four seasons in one day. I think the music of this song is great.
Four seasons in one day
Lying in the depths of your imagination
Worlds above and worlds below
The sun shines on the black clouds
Hanging over the domain
Even when you're feeling warm
The temperature could drop away
Like four seasons in one day
Smiling as the shit comes down
You can tell a man from what he has to say
Everything gets turned around
And I will risk my neck again
You can take me where you will
Up the creek and through the mill
Like all the things you can't explain
Four seasons in one day
Blood dries up
Like rain, like rain
Fills my cup
Like four seasons in one day
It doesn't pay to make predictions
Sleeping on an unmade bed
Finding out wherever there is comfort
There is pain
Only one step away
Like four seasons in one day
The freshness, breeze, light rain and light pleasant sun beam is indescribable.
Ordi-Beheshet is really a heavenly (Behesht=heaven in Persian) month with heavenly weather.
I highly recommend that whomever wants to pay a visit to Tehran must choose this time of the year.
Although the song does not entirely reflect the weather in Ordibehesht, but I for some reason I recalled this song from English group called crowded House . The song is known as: Four seasons in one day. I think the music of this song is great.
Four seasons in one day
Lying in the depths of your imagination
Worlds above and worlds below
The sun shines on the black clouds
Hanging over the domain
Even when you're feeling warm
The temperature could drop away
Like four seasons in one day
Smiling as the shit comes down
You can tell a man from what he has to say
Everything gets turned around
And I will risk my neck again
You can take me where you will
Up the creek and through the mill
Like all the things you can't explain
Four seasons in one day
Blood dries up
Like rain, like rain
Fills my cup
Like four seasons in one day
It doesn't pay to make predictions
Sleeping on an unmade bed
Finding out wherever there is comfort
There is pain
Only one step away
Like four seasons in one day
Monday, May 16, 2005
A journey to Auto-mechanique in Tehran
Today, I took our car to Auto-maechanique in Resaalat, right before Resaalat Square from west. I got up around 6 am, got ready and got in front of the place around 7:15 am. The store was supposed to be open at 8:00. After usual browse by mechanic and my request for mechanical look up. I got a receipt and left the automaechanique to go back home.
It all start here. I wanted to get to Tajrish square. So, I walked about 2 minutes west to see a bus stop. Looking at the buses passing by, many of them have no sign written on them to indicate where they are heading! A few buses show that the final destination is Vanak or Arjantin Squares. So, I decided to ask the old man in the ticket booth to whether there is buses going to Seyed Khandan.
Me: Hi there, how can I get to Seyed Khandan?
Ticket man: what do you want? … no buses go there!
Me: are you sure?
Ticket man: I am sure.
Me: So, is Resaalat square towards west or east? And shall I find a cap or transportation talking me to the seyed khandan.
Ticket man: (looks at me with wide eyes) where the heck are you from?
Me: from a small city a village in North!!
Ticket man: (with avidness) walk east and you will see resaalat square. By the way, why don’t you take a mini-bus to Seyed khandan? They are tons of them here taking you there.
I thanked the guy and walked away to stand on the street for mini-bus or get a taxi to Seyed khandan.
I waited about 5 to 10 minutes. Lots of private cars pass by getting close to me to hear I tell them if they are going to Seyed khandan. No luck, most of them stop for the women beside me but telling me they are not going to Seyed khandan! In the mean while, I see no mini-bus.
I decided to walk to Resaalat sqaure. I walked about 10 mintues. See a security guard on the street. Asked him about buses going to Seyed khandan. He says yes all buses pass through Seyed khandan. Whomever says they do not. He is lying!!
I walked back to that ticket man asking him to sell me a bus ticket.
Me: Sir, would you give me 5 tickets?
Ticket man: where the heck were you, you have been here for so long, didn’t ask me for a ticket. No, I don’t have any. Get out of here.
Then he closes his booth door and I decided to walk towads west until next bus stop so, get a ticket and get on a bus as well.
What I have experienced here is called unfriendly city and unfriendly customer service! Something many Iranians have not learned. It is so unfortunate to see that We are known for our friendly and hospitality. But truthfully, many of us are looking for free money not a money that we deserve. Plus, city has these centers or departments known as “Beautifying City” (Sazmane Ziba sazi). What the heck do they do? Not inspecting buses? Buses with out clear designation for the route. It is ridicules.
It all start here. I wanted to get to Tajrish square. So, I walked about 2 minutes west to see a bus stop. Looking at the buses passing by, many of them have no sign written on them to indicate where they are heading! A few buses show that the final destination is Vanak or Arjantin Squares. So, I decided to ask the old man in the ticket booth to whether there is buses going to Seyed Khandan.
Me: Hi there, how can I get to Seyed Khandan?
Ticket man: what do you want? … no buses go there!
Me: are you sure?
Ticket man: I am sure.
Me: So, is Resaalat square towards west or east? And shall I find a cap or transportation talking me to the seyed khandan.
Ticket man: (looks at me with wide eyes) where the heck are you from?
Me: from a small city a village in North!!
Ticket man: (with avidness) walk east and you will see resaalat square. By the way, why don’t you take a mini-bus to Seyed khandan? They are tons of them here taking you there.
I thanked the guy and walked away to stand on the street for mini-bus or get a taxi to Seyed khandan.
I waited about 5 to 10 minutes. Lots of private cars pass by getting close to me to hear I tell them if they are going to Seyed khandan. No luck, most of them stop for the women beside me but telling me they are not going to Seyed khandan! In the mean while, I see no mini-bus.
I decided to walk to Resaalat sqaure. I walked about 10 mintues. See a security guard on the street. Asked him about buses going to Seyed khandan. He says yes all buses pass through Seyed khandan. Whomever says they do not. He is lying!!
I walked back to that ticket man asking him to sell me a bus ticket.
Me: Sir, would you give me 5 tickets?
Ticket man: where the heck were you, you have been here for so long, didn’t ask me for a ticket. No, I don’t have any. Get out of here.
Then he closes his booth door and I decided to walk towads west until next bus stop so, get a ticket and get on a bus as well.
What I have experienced here is called unfriendly city and unfriendly customer service! Something many Iranians have not learned. It is so unfortunate to see that We are known for our friendly and hospitality. But truthfully, many of us are looking for free money not a money that we deserve. Plus, city has these centers or departments known as “Beautifying City” (Sazmane Ziba sazi). What the heck do they do? Not inspecting buses? Buses with out clear designation for the route. It is ridicules.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Tehran International Book fair !
I am back with my critical view of the recent event in Tehran. I think I am born to criticize until things get to an appropriate condition!
Wednesday morning I went to 18th international Book fair in usual spot of it at Tehran international convention centre.
I am going to write about my observations in point form.
1. Too many attendee were there for sack of being there or hanging out with gf/bf or because they were there on behalf of their work, university or school. I think I should sympathize with those young people who have no where to hang out!
2. What is with many Iranian men? Please wash your shirts! Or take a shower! I could not get to different booths to browse the books situated on the shelves, due to the fact that those country men of mine stink! The smell was from their body and shirts because of so much perspiration. I have to admit that detergents and water are expensive in Iran!!
3. Why do we provide our best sit in our convention center to foreigners? The area that reprehensive from Europeans were there was well conditioned; organized and the entry and exit doors were distinguished and were reasonably monitored . However, where Iranian publishers were located was no air conditioned air. The entry and exit doors were wide open. It was no order what so ever in regard of booths or type of books they were presenting.
4. Are not we want to become part of global economy? I suppose not, there were booths selling copyrit violation (pirate) software.
5. I found that foreigners have learned that many of us do not care about books, so, many books were outdated. But they were selling them with high prices!
6. Interesting enough there were books about gay, lesbians and queers in foreign publishers!
7. Some of the Iranian publishers were family oriented! I give an example. Mr. Atoalah Mohajerani (Ex. Ministery of Islamic guidance and culture) and his honorable wife, Mrs. Jamileh kaddivar have a publisher which I think was called like Mehr or something close to that name. They had this rented area which was about 15 square meter. Guess how man books from different authors they had? None! Zero!
All they had was books written by Mr. Mohajerani, edited by his wife and then published or books written by Mrs. Kadivar and was edited by her husband and published by this joint & family venture!! This was not the only booth doing so, there were many from high level clergies and others. But all somehow related to politics I suppose.
8. Why cannot we simply have reasonable public transportation faculties, situated at a designated area? Why so many mini-buses must park right at North entry door on the bridge where pedestrians are walking to get out or in to fair! Why all these mini buses blow not completely combusted gasoline in to the air!
9. I wonder Tehran’s Mayor was so critical of Tehran’s government for not transferring the convention center out of city and generating a monster type traffic all around its current area which is considered resident ional area. Now he is so busy with his presidentional campaign. And the way it looks that those talks never took place! All and all, I could not see any positive point except the foreign publishers in this current book fair.
Wednesday morning I went to 18th international Book fair in usual spot of it at Tehran international convention centre.
I am going to write about my observations in point form.
1. Too many attendee were there for sack of being there or hanging out with gf/bf or because they were there on behalf of their work, university or school. I think I should sympathize with those young people who have no where to hang out!
2. What is with many Iranian men? Please wash your shirts! Or take a shower! I could not get to different booths to browse the books situated on the shelves, due to the fact that those country men of mine stink! The smell was from their body and shirts because of so much perspiration. I have to admit that detergents and water are expensive in Iran!!
3. Why do we provide our best sit in our convention center to foreigners? The area that reprehensive from Europeans were there was well conditioned; organized and the entry and exit doors were distinguished and were reasonably monitored . However, where Iranian publishers were located was no air conditioned air. The entry and exit doors were wide open. It was no order what so ever in regard of booths or type of books they were presenting.
4. Are not we want to become part of global economy? I suppose not, there were booths selling copyrit violation (pirate) software.
5. I found that foreigners have learned that many of us do not care about books, so, many books were outdated. But they were selling them with high prices!
6. Interesting enough there were books about gay, lesbians and queers in foreign publishers!
7. Some of the Iranian publishers were family oriented! I give an example. Mr. Atoalah Mohajerani (Ex. Ministery of Islamic guidance and culture) and his honorable wife, Mrs. Jamileh kaddivar have a publisher which I think was called like Mehr or something close to that name. They had this rented area which was about 15 square meter. Guess how man books from different authors they had? None! Zero!
All they had was books written by Mr. Mohajerani, edited by his wife and then published or books written by Mrs. Kadivar and was edited by her husband and published by this joint & family venture!! This was not the only booth doing so, there were many from high level clergies and others. But all somehow related to politics I suppose.
8. Why cannot we simply have reasonable public transportation faculties, situated at a designated area? Why so many mini-buses must park right at North entry door on the bridge where pedestrians are walking to get out or in to fair! Why all these mini buses blow not completely combusted gasoline in to the air!
9. I wonder Tehran’s Mayor was so critical of Tehran’s government for not transferring the convention center out of city and generating a monster type traffic all around its current area which is considered resident ional area. Now he is so busy with his presidentional campaign. And the way it looks that those talks never took place! All and all, I could not see any positive point except the foreign publishers in this current book fair.
Monday, May 09, 2005
Controversial statement!…what is love anyway!?
Ok, as I promised I am back to write about a controversial topic. A topic all young ladies love to hear!
And that is in my very strong opinion all women should be wedded before turning 26 years of age!!! There is no argument. I believe that is very important issue and worth to be bonded in any way possible. So, ladies hurry up, it is getting late. Tic tac toe, tic tac toe…I hear the clock…The biological clock is ticking like there is no tomorrow!!
Moving on, I am going to share an interesting article with you that is written By Stephen B. Levine in a reputable journal. The story goes like this:
…
Walking in science library of university of Toronto known as Gerstein library. I was looking for Journal of Biomedical Engineering to be exposed to the most recent work of art of the colleagues who produce papers like they have some kind of the printing machine! Walking in the aisles of the Journals and magazines where they are alphabetically ordered, this Journal cut my eyes. The name of the journal was “Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy”. I could not resist I had to grab it and look at it. I took the deliberately of grabbing the issue which was located on the top of the stack. Very similar to the method that we open a “Hafez Fal” I opened up the magazine and started to read that same page.
To my surprise the article is called “what is love anyway?” and written by Stephn B. Levine.
I have been asking myself this questions for past many years and tried to find an answer for it, so I could first of all, convince myself of real love and secondly, to show off to others about this knowledge of mine!
I always wondered about the fact that when a man sees a voluptuous woman on the street, what really happens? And why we would like to get to know her. Do men really love that woman? Is this called love at first site? According to Levine the study of love notion is important to clinicians because: “1. Unhappiness in love predisposes to sexual concerns; 2. Sexual concerns interfere with the processes of loving and being loved; 3. People’s expectations for feeling and receiving love and experiencing satisfying sex are disappointed through a myriad of avenues; 4. Demoralization about love precedes the onset of many psychiatric symptoms.”
So, as I said this is on high priority and needs major discussion.
Mr. Levine continues in his essay: “The ubiquitous assumption that love is a feeling is a dangerous simplification. Too many people spend their lives waiting to have what they expect is the pure feeling.”
He suggested that we are not indicating a discrete feeling when we tell anyone that we love him or her.
The ordinary use of this verb “love” connotes at least two feelings: “pleasure and interest”.
Volia, going back to example that I talked about. You see a opposite sex (could be the same sex, too for those with gay tendency) on the street. You start to have interest in him/her! And as soon as you approach him/her, then you realize that either you get pleasure from her/him or you receive unpleasant waves! That is why in my opinion many people just fall in love as soon as they see a person and soon they change their minds. Mr. Levine continues: “while all humans can experience simple feeling of sadness, fear, guilt, anger, sexual arousal, defiance, and shame, each of these feelings is located somewhere on a continuum (for those engineers, this is different from tensor and continuum math, Alireza) of intensity. The continuum of pleasure might be said to begin with pleasantness and move up to an excited state of exhilaration. Interest, however, ranges from a mild curiosity to preoccupying fascination.
So, when somebody tells you, especially, in western counties you are an interesting human being. It has several meanings, first: I am curious of you. You are fascinating me. Hey, let’s get to know each other!
In couple hood era love is expected to combine mutual respect, behavioral reliability, enjoyment of one another, sexual fertility, psychological intimacy, sexual pleasure, and a comfortable balance of individuality and couple hood. This in turn is an ambition to obtain many characteristics that we are dreamt for.
According to Levine, love is a mental struggle. “The commitment must be managed. The patient’s original emotions of love were stimulated by idealized version of the partner that was internalized early in their relationship. The committed person at times feels trapped because he or she does not want to feel committed to the difficult partner who is sulking upstairs. Our discovery of our partner’s limitations for us gradually attenuates our idealization. We think of our earlier appraisals of the partner as youthful and naïve. Even so, disappointment does not quickly cancel our commitment because of our ambition to love, our obligation to live through bad moments, our ability to love the idealized version of the partner, and our moral commitments to raising our children. At any given moment, we may buffer our disappointment by focusing on an array of competing life demands (e.g. I have children to raise), defense mechanisms (e.g., I keep telling myself that no partner is ideal) and self-management techniques (e.g. take a deep breath and focus on your work). We tell ourselves that partner are good enough. The private mental struggle to maintain cooperative kind behaviors is a dynamic process with fluctuations in all people-even the happily married. The famous sentence, “I love my partner but I am not in love with him(her),” means, “although I am still committed, I have lost my ability to idealize my partner”.
I think I have got my answer about many questions which were originally raised in my mind. If you recall I wrote once I wonder about many couples who are married and men in general after a few years start to claim or tease his partner about would have been better if I had not got married! I think above paragraph explains why!
So, I think this is enough for now, since I make you readers bored. So, if I feel more needed I try to convey more about this interesting (not that interesting, you know what I mean!!) topic. :-)
And that is in my very strong opinion all women should be wedded before turning 26 years of age!!! There is no argument. I believe that is very important issue and worth to be bonded in any way possible. So, ladies hurry up, it is getting late. Tic tac toe, tic tac toe…I hear the clock…The biological clock is ticking like there is no tomorrow!!
Moving on, I am going to share an interesting article with you that is written By Stephen B. Levine in a reputable journal. The story goes like this:
…
Walking in science library of university of Toronto known as Gerstein library. I was looking for Journal of Biomedical Engineering to be exposed to the most recent work of art of the colleagues who produce papers like they have some kind of the printing machine! Walking in the aisles of the Journals and magazines where they are alphabetically ordered, this Journal cut my eyes. The name of the journal was “Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy”. I could not resist I had to grab it and look at it. I took the deliberately of grabbing the issue which was located on the top of the stack. Very similar to the method that we open a “Hafez Fal” I opened up the magazine and started to read that same page.
To my surprise the article is called “what is love anyway?” and written by Stephn B. Levine.
I have been asking myself this questions for past many years and tried to find an answer for it, so I could first of all, convince myself of real love and secondly, to show off to others about this knowledge of mine!
I always wondered about the fact that when a man sees a voluptuous woman on the street, what really happens? And why we would like to get to know her. Do men really love that woman? Is this called love at first site? According to Levine the study of love notion is important to clinicians because: “1. Unhappiness in love predisposes to sexual concerns; 2. Sexual concerns interfere with the processes of loving and being loved; 3. People’s expectations for feeling and receiving love and experiencing satisfying sex are disappointed through a myriad of avenues; 4. Demoralization about love precedes the onset of many psychiatric symptoms.”
So, as I said this is on high priority and needs major discussion.
Mr. Levine continues in his essay: “The ubiquitous assumption that love is a feeling is a dangerous simplification. Too many people spend their lives waiting to have what they expect is the pure feeling.”
He suggested that we are not indicating a discrete feeling when we tell anyone that we love him or her.
The ordinary use of this verb “love” connotes at least two feelings: “pleasure and interest”.
Volia, going back to example that I talked about. You see a opposite sex (could be the same sex, too for those with gay tendency) on the street. You start to have interest in him/her! And as soon as you approach him/her, then you realize that either you get pleasure from her/him or you receive unpleasant waves! That is why in my opinion many people just fall in love as soon as they see a person and soon they change their minds. Mr. Levine continues: “while all humans can experience simple feeling of sadness, fear, guilt, anger, sexual arousal, defiance, and shame, each of these feelings is located somewhere on a continuum (for those engineers, this is different from tensor and continuum math, Alireza) of intensity. The continuum of pleasure might be said to begin with pleasantness and move up to an excited state of exhilaration. Interest, however, ranges from a mild curiosity to preoccupying fascination.
So, when somebody tells you, especially, in western counties you are an interesting human being. It has several meanings, first: I am curious of you. You are fascinating me. Hey, let’s get to know each other!
In couple hood era love is expected to combine mutual respect, behavioral reliability, enjoyment of one another, sexual fertility, psychological intimacy, sexual pleasure, and a comfortable balance of individuality and couple hood. This in turn is an ambition to obtain many characteristics that we are dreamt for.
According to Levine, love is a mental struggle. “The commitment must be managed. The patient’s original emotions of love were stimulated by idealized version of the partner that was internalized early in their relationship. The committed person at times feels trapped because he or she does not want to feel committed to the difficult partner who is sulking upstairs. Our discovery of our partner’s limitations for us gradually attenuates our idealization. We think of our earlier appraisals of the partner as youthful and naïve. Even so, disappointment does not quickly cancel our commitment because of our ambition to love, our obligation to live through bad moments, our ability to love the idealized version of the partner, and our moral commitments to raising our children. At any given moment, we may buffer our disappointment by focusing on an array of competing life demands (e.g. I have children to raise), defense mechanisms (e.g., I keep telling myself that no partner is ideal) and self-management techniques (e.g. take a deep breath and focus on your work). We tell ourselves that partner are good enough. The private mental struggle to maintain cooperative kind behaviors is a dynamic process with fluctuations in all people-even the happily married. The famous sentence, “I love my partner but I am not in love with him(her),” means, “although I am still committed, I have lost my ability to idealize my partner”.
I think I have got my answer about many questions which were originally raised in my mind. If you recall I wrote once I wonder about many couples who are married and men in general after a few years start to claim or tease his partner about would have been better if I had not got married! I think above paragraph explains why!
So, I think this is enough for now, since I make you readers bored. So, if I feel more needed I try to convey more about this interesting (not that interesting, you know what I mean!!) topic. :-)
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