Ok, as I promised I am back to write about a controversial topic. A topic all young ladies love to hear!
And that is in my very strong opinion all women should be wedded before turning 26 years of age!!! There is no argument. I believe that is very important issue and worth to be bonded in any way possible. So, ladies hurry up, it is getting late. Tic tac toe, tic tac toe…I hear the clock…The biological clock is ticking like there is no tomorrow!!
Moving on, I am going to share an interesting article with you that is written By Stephen B. Levine in a reputable journal. The story goes like this:
…
Walking in science library of university of Toronto known as Gerstein library. I was looking for Journal of Biomedical Engineering to be exposed to the most recent work of art of the colleagues who produce papers like they have some kind of the printing machine! Walking in the aisles of the Journals and magazines where they are alphabetically ordered, this Journal cut my eyes. The name of the journal was “Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy”. I could not resist I had to grab it and look at it. I took the deliberately of grabbing the issue which was located on the top of the stack. Very similar to the method that we open a “Hafez Fal” I opened up the magazine and started to read that same page.
To my surprise the article is called “what is love anyway?” and written by Stephn B. Levine.
I have been asking myself this questions for past many years and tried to find an answer for it, so I could first of all, convince myself of real love and secondly, to show off to others about this knowledge of mine!
I always wondered about the fact that when a man sees a voluptuous woman on the street, what really happens? And why we would like to get to know her. Do men really love that woman? Is this called love at first site? According to Levine the study of love notion is important to clinicians because: “1. Unhappiness in love predisposes to sexual concerns; 2. Sexual concerns interfere with the processes of loving and being loved; 3. People’s expectations for feeling and receiving love and experiencing satisfying sex are disappointed through a myriad of avenues; 4. Demoralization about love precedes the onset of many psychiatric symptoms.”
So, as I said this is on high priority and needs major discussion.
Mr. Levine continues in his essay: “The ubiquitous assumption that love is a feeling is a dangerous simplification. Too many people spend their lives waiting to have what they expect is the pure feeling.”
He suggested that we are not indicating a discrete feeling when we tell anyone that we love him or her.
The ordinary use of this verb “love” connotes at least two feelings: “pleasure and interest”.
Volia, going back to example that I talked about. You see a opposite sex (could be the same sex, too for those with gay tendency) on the street. You start to have interest in him/her! And as soon as you approach him/her, then you realize that either you get pleasure from her/him or you receive unpleasant waves! That is why in my opinion many people just fall in love as soon as they see a person and soon they change their minds. Mr. Levine continues: “while all humans can experience simple feeling of sadness, fear, guilt, anger, sexual arousal, defiance, and shame, each of these feelings is located somewhere on a continuum (for those engineers, this is different from tensor and continuum math, Alireza) of intensity. The continuum of pleasure might be said to begin with pleasantness and move up to an excited state of exhilaration. Interest, however, ranges from a mild curiosity to preoccupying fascination.
So, when somebody tells you, especially, in western counties you are an interesting human being. It has several meanings, first: I am curious of you. You are fascinating me. Hey, let’s get to know each other!
In couple hood era love is expected to combine mutual respect, behavioral reliability, enjoyment of one another, sexual fertility, psychological intimacy, sexual pleasure, and a comfortable balance of individuality and couple hood. This in turn is an ambition to obtain many characteristics that we are dreamt for.
According to Levine, love is a mental struggle. “The commitment must be managed. The patient’s original emotions of love were stimulated by idealized version of the partner that was internalized early in their relationship. The committed person at times feels trapped because he or she does not want to feel committed to the difficult partner who is sulking upstairs. Our discovery of our partner’s limitations for us gradually attenuates our idealization. We think of our earlier appraisals of the partner as youthful and naïve. Even so, disappointment does not quickly cancel our commitment because of our ambition to love, our obligation to live through bad moments, our ability to love the idealized version of the partner, and our moral commitments to raising our children. At any given moment, we may buffer our disappointment by focusing on an array of competing life demands (e.g. I have children to raise), defense mechanisms (e.g., I keep telling myself that no partner is ideal) and self-management techniques (e.g. take a deep breath and focus on your work). We tell ourselves that partner are good enough. The private mental struggle to maintain cooperative kind behaviors is a dynamic process with fluctuations in all people-even the happily married. The famous sentence, “I love my partner but I am not in love with him(her),” means, “although I am still committed, I have lost my ability to idealize my partner”.
I think I have got my answer about many questions which were originally raised in my mind. If you recall I wrote once I wonder about many couples who are married and men in general after a few years start to claim or tease his partner about would have been better if I had not got married! I think above paragraph explains why!
So, I think this is enough for now, since I make you readers bored. So, if I feel more needed I try to convey more about this interesting (not that interesting, you know what I mean!!) topic. :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment